Dialogue Between a Corporate Pimp from America & a Third World Despot

CEO: Hey, my faithful, “developing” ally. You looking to have a good time? Something modern?

Third World Despot: What you got?

CEO: I got this top-notch collection of capital, she’s unsanitary, rough, and coercive to the bone. And labor costs? Couldn’t sustain a family of three. This capital will bring you more than profits. This capital will awaken the core of your economic satisfaction.

Third World Despot: Sounds promising . . . but what about diseases? The last industry I imported contracted a virus and became terminally ill after a severe case of the unionized workers syndrome. I’d hate to have that happen again.

CEO: Unions?! Trust me, you won’t find a shadow of a union in this voluptuous work of modernization. In fact, if  this factory even exhibits any symptoms of unionization–a worker dares to raise his head, a worker organizes a rally or a general strike–I will personally see to it that one of my distinguished colleagues supply you and your stable regime with the most advanced of medicine to eradicate the plague.

Third World Despot: What kind of medicine?

CEO: The medicine that fires bullets.

Third World Despot:  . . . I see . . . well, I’ve weighed the costs and benefits and . . . looks like you have yourself a deal!

[shakes hands with CEO]

CEO: [Turns to the shore of the ocean] Hey guys! Gather up all the capital and bring it over here. These people said they want some of our democracy!


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